Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
