That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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