The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize