I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize