First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
