Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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