Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
