So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
