The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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