Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
