Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
