whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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