Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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