i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
