you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
