I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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