Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My vagina just recognized that song.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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