i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
