whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
