i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
