If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
