grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
