pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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