This is not my ceiling
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
