i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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