Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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