come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize