the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
