she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize