At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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