I think im going to throw up on grandma
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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