You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
