Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Someone came in the potted fern
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He did a backflip because drugs
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize