I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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