I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we should paint friendship bongs
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