I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
