I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize