Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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