what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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