they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
