i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
