I think I won the penis lottery.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
