The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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