Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
