you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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