i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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