Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
