i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
