Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize