But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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