Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
