I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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