That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize