I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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