Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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