The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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