Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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