but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize