I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I want to be your penis for a week.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
