Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
farters have to be the big spoon...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
