I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
