come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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