I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
